I find a lot of random emails on my computer. The following is an exchange that happened over a week prior to a golfing trip we took to a resort near Palm Springs. My friend 'Mack' and I had reserved large adjacent suites with private pools at the resort (there were 16 of us on the trip).
---
Mr. Koskenmaki,
In anticipation of your upcoming arrival, I wanted to wish you safe travels on your journey out to our beautiful desert oasis. If there is anything I may assist you with in regards to your transportation, accommodation, or resort activities, please feel free to contact me with any requests or modifications. In addition, if you happen to predict an arrival time before 4pm or perhaps another guest you would like to be near, it would be very helpful for me to accommodate this kind of information ahead of time in order to make your stay more comfortable.
We look forward to welcoming you to the land of sweet-smelling citrus trees and clear blue skies.
Warm Regards,
Alyssa
---
Hi Alyssa,
Is it possible for you to obtain a poker table for our suite? Also, will my suite be located next to Mr. McDougall's suite? Thanks!
Mr. Koskenmaki
---
Hello Alyssa,
Can you put a ping pong table in the courtyard of my suite or Mr. Koskenmaki's? Is that possible? We look forward to seeing you soon. Thank you so much.
Mr. McDougall
---
Good morning,
I have attached Mr. McDougall to this email (he requested a ping pong table). Ok so they have one poker table and it's a Dallas Cowboys decorated table they said that would work for you. IF that's ok with you. And the price would be $250 and that includes the delivery fee. Then they have a ping pong table for $275.
Let me know if these interest either of you and I will have it set up for you.
Thank you,
Alyssa
---
Hi Alyssa,
The Dallas Cowboys poker table sounds absolutely perfect.... if we were a bunch of illiterate rednecks from Texas. As it is, I'm not sure that's going to work for us. Can you tell them I'll pay extra if they can obtain a different table or perhaps remove or cover up any Dallas Cowboys logos? I feel certain that on a table like that I would suffer some improbably suckout which would haunt me for the rest of my life. Bad mojo.
Thanks!
Mr. Koskenmaki
P.S. I'll let Mr. McDougall decide about the ping pong table. Personally it's a little too fast-paced for me. My cat-like reflexes are more akin to a semi-senile dog that likes to sit on the couch and drink beer.
---
Good morning,
I completely and totally do not blame you for not taking the Dallas Cowboy poker table. That is completely understandable. I called back and asked if they could possibly cover up the logos but no luck. If you'd like to call and speak to them yourself, the number is xxx-xxx-xxxx and they rent out a lot of different games. I'm kind of surprised they don't have another one for next weekend. But I apologize for the inconvenience and I await Mr. McDougall's response!
Thank you,
Alyssa
---
Hi Alyssa!
I would have to agree with Mr. Koskenmaki about the poker table, the Cowboys would make everyone sad and that sadness might turn into outright weeping. A Red Sox table might be ok, but they have to make the playoffs first and that is not looking very good right now. Thank you very much for your help in obtaining the tables. I think we should move forward with the ping pong table as I am lightning quick and a blur to the average spectator. A plain poker table would be ideal, if possible. And, as long as they are loading up a truck... do they have a pool table? I know that's kind of heavy and may be a highter rental. But, you may know of an easy way to load it in...? I may be able to help as I can lift more than most men. I once lifted a Toyota Celica three feet off the ground in order to retrieve a frisbee.
It would also be great to have ping pong paddles and balls (even though I have my own). I travel with a myrtlewood paddle and teflon grip that was hand-embossed and given to me by the Duke of Edinburgh.
Thank you very much for your help, we are looking forward to a great time with you in the desert.
Mr. McDougall
---
Alyssa,
Mr. McDougall raises perfectly good points. However, if I were you I might call into question his ability to life a Celica more than 8 inches off the ground.
But seriously, I'm happy to forego the ping pong table if they can just ensure that our pool is a perfect 90 degrees. Also, could we get a waterslide into the pool? Thanks, and looking forward to it!
Mr. Koskenmaki
---
Ha ha, you two are hilarious! So I called the company back and reserved the ping pong table for Mr. McDougall and they need a 50% deposit so I need a credit card number and information. (It also includes the paddles and balls, probably nothing like Mr. McDougall's but they should work.)
A waterslide into the pool is unfortunately not something I can set up due to security reasons, but I totally understand your request for that, sounds like fun!
The pool table, they wanted me to let you know, is "bar-style" and is coin-operated but they can place it on free play for you. The price would be $475.
Talk to you soon!
Alyssa
---
Hi Alyssa,
Wow, I think we might prefer the pool table. I will let Mr. Koskenmaki weigh in as he is our resident expert in table games. We also noticed from satellite imagery that our suites are separated with a wall. Is it possible to put two trampolines next to the wall for us to boing boing between rooms? Or is there a gate? Boinging is preferred.
Thank you for your help!
Mr. McDougall
---
Hi Alyssa,
Let's go with the pool table and the trampolines, then, instead of the ping pong table. Provided that neither the pool table nor the trampolines have any Dallas Cowboys logos or mojo about them. I will email you my credit card number separately. Please guard it with your life. My fear is that Mr. McDougall will get a hold of it and the next thing we know our suites will be full of circus-related animals and other riff raff.
Mr. Koskenmaki
---
Epilogue: there were several other emails after this but unfortunately I can't find them anywhere. We met Alyssa and she turned out to be very nice and also cute in a not-very-tall sort of way. We sent her flowers.
No comments:
Post a Comment